


It's Not Fair

by ToughAqua777



Category: Dragon Quest Series, Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Destiny, Don't copy to another site, Dragon Quest XI Act II, Dragon Quest XI Act II Spoilers, Dragon Quest XI Spoilers, Emotional Hurt, Fate, Fate & Destiny, Fate Worse Than Death, Gen, Hero | Luminary is Named Eleven | El (Dragon Quest XI), Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Rants, Screw Destiny, Self-Hatred, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-23 20:59:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21326596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToughAqua777/pseuds/ToughAqua777
Summary: Sometimes, in your darkest moments, words of comfort just don't work.Sometimes, a simple hug is enough. Sometimes, it isn't.Sometimes, you don't know how to help. Sometimes, there isn't a way to help at all.So, all we can do is try our best and hope for the best as well.Sometimes...that's all we can do.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	It's Not Fair

**Author's Note:**

> I promised the Discord server I'd do it. Now have some swear Eleven venting like his life depended on it.  
Also, good _lord_, I need to stop torturing this poor kid! He doesn't deserve this shit!  
Well, at least it's not as bad as the last oneshot I wrote...

Mount Pang-Lai.

Hendrik had never been there, of course; he only recently heard about it. But at least he knew how to get there via the directions given from His Majesty. It would take time to climb to the top, but he had faith that they would reach it.

His only problem would be the trek itself.

He and the Luminary--no, _Eleven_\--could easily fight monsters off together, but this would be new territory for them both; neither knew what to expect. While he was aware of Eleven's fire magic, he wasn't certain it would be enough if they were to go against, say, an ice dragon (when Heliodor fell, a black dragon burst from the sewers and did _not _help matters; rather not have that happen again).

So perhaps it was a good thing that they were able to camp for the night before they seemingly entered the mountain itself.

The sound of the flickering fire was the only sound that accompanied the silence of the night, the Goddess Statue, standing along the edge somewhat precariously, but still offering its holy protection to the two travelers.

Hendrik had been reading the book he had brought with him, but had temporarily put it aside to eat. Eleven seemed to be a skilled cook; not perfect, but skilled, which was completely fine.

What wasn't fine was the boy's expression.

Eleven, ever since they set-up camp, had been dead silent, and while he seemed to be naturally quiet, it was the near lack of life in his eyes that made the silence more worrying. Not a word had been spoken by either, sure, but whether that was because there was nothing to say or they were waiting for the other to speak Hendrik didn't know. The dead eyes were locked onto the small fire before them, even as he ate and when he had finished doing so.

Yet his eyes were not staring at the fire--they were staring through.

It didn't take a scholar to know why he seemed lifeless: he had companions, many of them. Yet none were present, not even Princess Jade.

Where they had gone...who knows?

As if on cue with the end of that thought, Eleven suddenly stood up, snapping Hendrik out of his trance. Hendrik stood up as well, startled and on-alert.

The boy did not look him in the eye. In fact, he didn't look at Hendrik at all.

But he _did_ start sprinting towards the cliffside.

On instinct, Hendrik sprinted after him. What was he--

_He's going to jump off._

Hendrik barely grabbed him by gripping under his arms, the young man now dangling precariously over the steep cliffside. It took Hendrik quite a bit of strength to pull him up, but he ended up falling backwards with his companion as soon as they were both safely away from the cliff but still in the camp.

Eleven did not move a muscle the entire time.

Hendrik's eyes were wide, his mind still trying to catch-up with the current events. What had just...why did that...why would he..._what?_

"...Let go."

The voice was barely a whisper, as if trying to conceal the tone of it. But it was enough to gain Hendrik's attention.

But...

"...So long as you don't run."

A nod was the only confirmation he received, and Hendrik decided to take the risk, letting his grip go flak as Eleven stood up again, sitting down as Hendrik sat up. His expression was blank, his eyes still dead, his gaze far away.

Hendrik watched him, still on-guard; he felt that, at any moment, he could run off and the events would repeat multiple times. Of course, a part of him knew he wouldn't, but you could never be too careful.

Speaking of careful, he should probably choose his words carefully. He knew he should probably say something, but..._what?_

"...'S not fair..."

Again, Eleven's voice was quiet, barely audible, but Hendrik heard loud and clear. Yet the words were vague, and--

Eleven stood up, this time gripping a rock in his right hand.

"It's not _fucking _fair!"

The rock Eleven had been holding was throw off the cliffside as his voice rose suddenly. Hendrik was taken aback; he didn't think Eleven was one to swear, at least not often. But this outburst...this was something else.

"Why me?! _WHY?!_ Why _me_ of all the _fucking_ people?!"

Hendrik's mouth opened to speak, but he held his voice. He could only watch as Eleven started to pace around camp.

"Why did _I _have to be the Goddess-damned Luminary?! It could've been anyone, but _nooooo_, it _HAD _to be me!"

His voice continued to rise.

"What did I do to deserve this title?! Nothing!_ Absolutely nothing!_ I never wanted this! I never wanted_ any_ of this! Yet here I am, cursed to fuck over everyone who gives a shit about me 'cos I fucking exist!"

Rising. Pacing. Echoing off the mountain wall.

"I wouldn't wish this on anyone! I never wished for a floating tree in the sky to decide, 'Hey, what if I made a newborn prince become a holy child an' KILL HIS ENTIRE KINGDOM AN' TELL HIM _FUCK-ALL?!'_ _FUCK_ YGGDRASIL! _FUCK_ THE GODDESS! I'M A LIVING EXAMPLE THAT SHE DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANYONE!!!"

The screaming paused, giving way to gasping and sobbing as Eleven finally stopped moving and fell into a seated position, opposite of Hendrik.

"W-why...?! Why couldn't I have been normal...?"

The boy hugged his knees close to his chest and buried his face within, trying to hide the falling tears.

"...I-I should've never b-been born..."

After that, the sounds of the campfire was only accompanied by the muffled gasping and sobbing of the broken boy.

_Boy._

For a moment, Hendrik too began to curse the Goddess. The Luminary, Eleven, was barely an adult, if at all. He was still so young. But to have so much tragedy befall him in such a short time, let alone the current state of the world...that would break any man's will.

But for someone as young as Eleven...

He would never recover. No one could, fully.

But the trauma would _forever_ remain with Eleven.

Hendrik also found himself to take part of the blame. He recalled how he hunted down who he believed to be a "Darkspawn," blinded by a monster wearing His Majesty's skin. Not knowing the truth until it was far too late.

But at the same time...there was nothing either of them could do about the past events. There was no way either of them would truly recover from the ills that befell them both.

So, for now...

Hendrik stood up to move over to Eleven's side, soon wrapping his own blanket around the tormented youth, and sat down next to him.

As soon as he sat down, however...

Eleven turned to embrace him.

Hendrik was surprised at first, not quite remembering the last time he was hugged, but...somehow, he didn't mind. This was probably something Eleven needed. So, Hendrik took his chances and returned the embrace, not minding the tears that were now staining his shirt as the youth sobbed into it.

He thought about speaking, but...somehow, he felt words wouldn't help the situation. Hell, it might make things worse.

For now...this was enough.

This was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> If I made you cry, I did my job right.  
I actually started shedding tears myself as I played the story in my head, if that makes you feel any better.


End file.
